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Winter Olympics…or Beerlmpics?

Posted by Tapped Life on

So Olympic Fever is in full swing. Everyone is all: “stray dogs this,” and “unfinished bathrooms that.” But, those types of headlines really just end up taking away from the games themselves and the athletes that have worked so hard to compete at this level. If you stop and really look at what all of these folks are competing in—luge, biathlon, curling, snowboarding—they are arduous accomplishments. And, it’s apparent that these are all games you could have made up with your friends after having a few. Let’s take a look with our beer goggles on, shall we? Winter olympics…or beerlmpics?

A History of Luge

Jim: Wow. The ice storm left the roads covered with a huge sheet of ice. You guys shouldn’t drive home.

Carl: Good call. We’ve had too much to drink, anyway. But it’s a long walk home.

Steve: Hey Jim, can we borrow your kids’ sled? Carl and I live mostly down hill from here.

Jim’s Wife: I don’t know guys. That sounds pretty risky.

Jim: Oh honey, don’t worry about it. I’ll give Carl and Jim the kids’ helmets. They’re pros; we used to sled all the time when we were younger. Carl even slammed straight into the oldest oak tree in town one winter. And he’s just fine.

Jim’s Wife: [makes disapproving Marge Simpson noise]

See? Pretty much every Olympic winter sport could have the same kind of scenario behind it. People are very ingenious when given a fair amount of beer and a problem that requires a ridiculously difficult solution.

Especially biathlon. Cross-country skiing and riflery? Yes, this was the brain child of weary participants in some late night drinking sessions that took place in some incredibly snow-packed, unbelievably far-off-the-beaten path locale. It probably sounded like this: “Not only are we going to cross-country ski, but we’re going to carry our rifles with us. We’re going to shoot at targets along the way. Don’t worry, there will be extra ammo at the shooting ranges if you lose yours in the snow.”

Not that we are implying any of the Olympic athletes are competing under the influence.

Unless, you look at this guy’s ski suit. He has definitely been drinking. Perhaps too much tequila?

Or, you’re hanging out with Team Canada at their Olympic House. Beer Sofa should have applied for Canadian citizenship!

So, as you watch the winter Olympics from the comfort of your favorite sofa or barstool, raise a glass to the inspiration behind all of these great competitions: beer!*

*Tapped Life made up all of this “Olympic Origins” stuff. It’s just entertainment, people.

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